9 weeks pregnant today and I still have not puked. Not even once. I am shocked and amazed and happy. It is true that I am on Zofran full time and spend my days trying not to puke, but I am trying really hard not to complain because it could be so much worse. 10-12 weeks will be my biggest challenge, I think.
Who knows why this time is better. Bodies changes. My mom got very sick with all of her babies except the last couple so I was hopeful that it would be the same for me. I also thought that maybe it has something to do with my thyroid because with my last babies it was hyper and this time it is not. Why did carrots help the slobbering last time and this time it is black licorice? Why do we crave what we crave? It is a mystery to me.
I am nine weeks and I have gained nine pounds. I am on a roll. My pregnancy tracker app says that I should have gained a pound. OOPS.
I have a question for you…
Why would one think it bad to announce your pregnancy early on just because you might lose your baby? Is there shame is losing a baby? Why even announce it at all, then? Life is uncertain and you could lose a child at any age. I know this is a common way of thinking and I just don’t understand the logic of this. I have been told many times that “we didn’t want to announce too early because we thought we might have a miscarriage”. Even my pregnancy tracker app told me that at 12 weeks I could announce the baby since my chances of losing it are less.
What?!?
My friends, even at conception a baby is a soul. A miracle. I would hope that if I lost this baby before 12 weeks that you would still like me. I would hope that I could share my loss with you and that you would support me. I would certainly not be ashamed for sharing this little soul with you, no matter how tiny.
Speaking of little tiny souls…
My sister, Anna, is carrying one in her skinny little belly!
I just wanted to say that one reason we didn’t always tell people that we were pregnant was because then you have to tell them that you have lost the baby. For me this was such a hard thing to do over and over. We knew that all of our babies were souls. Even now writing it down I am having trouble not crying. We have 3 lovely daughters and 5 little ones already in heaven. I just thought I would give you our reasons. It is hard to say that something is too personal but sometimes grief is too personal to be shared. KPea
Thanks for explaining your reasoning. I guess I just need to realize that everyone isn’t an open book like me that shares all…good or hard:)
So you keep the pregnancy a secret forever? You don’t tell people that you have lost your sweet baby? I suppose that if you didn’t want to share your grief with anyone but your husband and God that it would make sense not to share the pregnancy in the first place. My bro and SIL, Amanda, understand your grief all too well. They lost 6 unborns. I can only imagine how hard that would be. HUGS!
Amen! I was devastated when we had a baby die at 11 weeks. The first thing that several people said was “this is why we don’t say anything until later.” HELLO! We just had a baby, who weeks early had a beating heart die. They were even able to tell us when death occurred. Wouldn’t those that care for us want to support us during that time?
And on the other hand, wouldn’t you want the people you know will be praying for you lifting you up and caring for your family from day one?
Same as Kathy, it’s just so hard to tell everyone, and then have to go and un-tell everyone…and then they’re not sure what level of comfort is expected because everyone deals with grief and miscarriages differently. When we lost our first we just locked ourselves in our apartment for a week and didn’t talk to anyone, fortunately our friends were able to help break the news to everyone for us. But I still definitely agree with you though, there is a weird stigma around it, and I HATE when people look at you weird for telling people early.
Aww! Congratulations, Anna! Amanda should be very excited, all kinds of wittle ones on the way! As for me waiting, I just wait til’ I start showing I guess. I find it kind of private and I feel oh so sneaky. 🙂 And I didn’t get sick with my boys either so it was a lot easier to hide. Though I do agree with Kathy that it is a very personal grief. I have never been through a miscarriage myself, but seeing my sister go through so much was awful, but I would never wish her not to have told us either.
Congrats on the new baby! Such wonderful news :o)
With my first baby I announced the news the week I found out. I couldn’t keep the it to myself. I was a mom, from that moment on, I was a mom! A few weeks later we (hubby and I) had to announce that our baby had died and we were heart broken. People say really stupid things when a person is sad, really stupid things. (There was 1 woman who kept asking me how the baby was doing, months after I lost that baby) We now have 4 live children and 5 that went to heaven before birth and we waited to say I was pregnant to the world after the 3rd miscarriage. We told family and close friends, they would want to know anyway and support us if something went wrong.
I don’t like the hard line rule to not announce the baby, though. I think it should be when ever mom and dad want to announce the wonderful news :o)
I think when you share the news is a personal choice. I have 3 beautiful children and 4 babies in Heaven. I always wait to announce my pregnancy because it is very hard to repeat “I lost the baby” over and over again. There are a few people that I tell early on so they can celebrate with me and pray for me and my baby. And if I should lose the baby, they are there to mourn with me. No, there is no shame in losing a baby, but it is extremely painful to lose one.
I am soo excited for you and that you are doing better this time around!! I will continue to pray!! Congratulations to Anna! How exciting to have babies close together:)I never lost a baby but if I ever did/had I would hope people would support us in our loss..my sisters and SIL have lost babies and I know it is hard to share that the baby is gone but I think it is good to have support and prayers! I always shared right away except with Liberty, I only made it 5 days without sharing the exciting news..my reason then was I didn’t want to weigh my family down with my sickness since mom was soo sick fighting cancer..(but as you know I couldn’t have hid it if I tried.) I thought if by chance I didn’t share maybe I wouldn’t get as sick and make the family burdened down…otherwise I ALWAYS shared:)always praying for you!!
i agree with you, Jen. its a soul the second it was concieved, and so why not celebrate it’s life the moment you know it exists!? i think some people who have had more than one miscarriage, feel that they are just burdening everyone when they announce the pg and then have to tell them of the loss not long after… but they should NOT feel that way, at least not if they have loving, Christian families who understand the gift of life and pain of loss. Mindy has had 4 miscarriages, and although I’m not sure (can’t remember) if they shared the pg right away or not, I sure would not have thought badly of them for doing so… same goes for Missy (had 2, I think) or my SILs that had miscarriages. Should I not have shared Elijah’s pg or our journey through it til his birth and then death?! How sad, horrible, and painful that would have been (more than it already was) to go through it alone (as in just Joey and I)! I’m blessed and thankful for everyone who carried us (and hopefully still carries us) in prayer… and who blessed us in so many ways. That’s my thoughts on it… 🙂
I agree whole-heartedly and as we were expecting, and the ultimately lost, the ones that we had before our Olivia, I “announced” and proclaimed each one! 🙂
To not do so, you deprive your praying friends/family of the ability to pray that all goes well. You then have put yourself in a bubble of so-called “protection” so that if you do lose the baby, who do you tell and go to for support? Oy… such ignorant silliness.
I really think it is an idea born in the decades past, when “such things” (pregnancy and all matters pertaining to same) were verboten to be publicly spoken of — matters too “delicate” for general conversation.
And I imagine the ultimate loss of a baby was even more “too delicate”. Shame.
I remember growing up in my household where it was VERY wrong to even THINK of using the word “pregnant” AT ALL! You were to say “she is expecting”. But never, “Did you hear so & so was pregnant?” That would have garnered us a very stern talking to and possibly punishment.
Not to mention how the modern terms “preggers” or “preggo” would have been received!! Yikes!! 🙂
Well, sweet Jen — you enjoy that baby to the full, icky tummy and all. You are such an inspiration and wonderful mother/wife.
~Ruth
Leave it to a pregnant woman to get up on her soapbox, huh?;)
Please forgive me if I hurt your feelings!
Let me clarify that I am not talking about those of you that have suffered repeated loss, but more about the general belief that society seems to have that your baby isn’t worthing announcing until it reaches a certain week. For those of you that HAVE suffered so much loss and choose to share your grief with only those close to you…I totally understand and respect that and pray that you have good people around you to help carry you through..such a blessing.
Ruth, I agree that it stems from the same place that produced “in the family way” and “going to germany” 🙂
That’s really awesome that you haven’t been sick like usual!! I was sick(not like you, but sick) with the first 2 then barely anything with the next 3 then with this last one I was somewhere In between…I chalked it off to waiting 4 years and my body forgot how to do it! Lol! As for announcing a pregnancy…I agree with you, I have lost 3 in my life, but each time I got a positive test I was way too excited not to tell anyone, I wanted to tell every stranger I saw! Sure it was hard to tell people when the baby was no longer living, but in all honesty, you can lose a baby at any point in a pregnancy, a scary reality! So I say tell! Tell everyone! 😉 PS~Tell Anna Congrats! When is she due? How fun to be sisters pregnant together! I’m jealous! 😉
I was always a tell early… I was too excited to not tell..hah..I am not sure why people wait.. I agree with you its a life from moment one.. share your news.. dont hide it.. and I am so glad you are not sick.. maybe this time you won’t be at all.
You spoke right to my heart. The sooner we know about the pregnancy the sooner we can all start praying for the little one. I think people forget how powerful prayer is. God did not promise us a perfect life, death is a part of us. I get so frustrated with the world today and putting God on the back burner. People need to put God back in everything! Oh well, I guess I will keep praying for this world. Loved the post, love your blog. Congratulations and will add you to my prayer list for your sickness. I know all to well about being sick when you are pregnant. I knew immediately when I was pregnant, because the sickness started immediately, before I even took pregnancy tests. Thanks for sharing.
I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiments. A soul is a soul no matter how old….I told right away…some people complained that then it seemed to drag on forever….to bad 🙂
Good luck 🙂 I am a mother of 4
AMEN!!!!!! and so glad you haven’t puked yet! So exciting for both of you to be pg with each other. CONGRATULATIONS ANNA!!! 🙂
I know for me, I.was afraid to announce my pregnancies after losing our daughter (our first child) because I was not only afraid of losing thr pregnancy, but of reliving what I went through, having to tell people, having people ask if I’d had the baby. I didn’t just not tell people, I would wait until they asked. Weird, huh? I have never claimed to be normal, but I did leave WR claiming that Anna would announce a pregnancy within two months. Congratulations, Anna! And congratulations to you for not puking. It must be odd for you.
My sis in law is expecting after 9 years of not being able to get pregnant.. When I spread the HAPPY news, one of the responses I got was ‘She must be pretty far along if she’s telling everyone’ She was about 4 weeks at that point..
I was shocked at the question.. The most blessed being was formed in her womb, but she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, for fear of miscarriage?! Ecclesiastes 3 tells us To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven… etc. She is rejoicing in the fact she’s pregnant!
And, for the next months, all can storm heaven with prayers for a healthy pregnancy and baby for her, because God ‘heareth the prayer of the righteous’. 🙂
May God continue to bless your pregnancy, Jen.. Glad to hear this one is going better than previous ones. 🙂
AMEN!! Having experienced loss 7 times, I would shout it from the mountain tops that I was pregnant, the little being inside me was no less loved, cherished, expected……I thank God everyday for the 3 precious children Dave and I have. Certainly everyone has their own feelings and emotions about this….
Wendy
I just think it would stink to announce it, then have a miscarriage the next day. I would feel like everyone had to know right away that I was no longer preg..dumb, but yea. I have always told instantly (well this time I waited a day:) except with Claire, I hid it for 3 months..just to be sneaky & make you mad…hahahaha
Thanks for the congrats everyone…soo exciting!:)
That is quite a question to answer. I carried my five to full term. My heart goes out to everyone who loses a baby. My son and DIL have lost five precious little souls and are now hoping to adopt. Happy that you’re having a healthy pregnancy. Love the pic of Hazel sleeping. She is so precious:)
OMG! Not puking for 9WEEkS?!?! Lucky! I want to have as many kids as you Jen. It seems like you would be proud for creating all those lives. I know I would be! What are some names your thinking of giving the baby hmm? And congrats Anna! It seems like you guys are always pregnant at the same time LOL.
When we were expecting our first we had planned on waiting to announce. That lasted about 5 seconds. We realized that the very people we wanted to tell were the same people we would seek comfort from if we miscarried.
I jumped for joy when I got pregnant first time, told the whole world seconds after finding out.
And then..that baby, that soul was right back in the Father’s arms. What a time. My baby…God’s baby.
But..Amen and Amen for what you said here. It’s just well..some folks don’t think it’s a life until later.
Well dear, I always wait until I flush the toilet before I start telling people… *snicker* But when I do tell, it’s only certain close ones who understand how scary it is. Then after I’m braver (and getting sick) I tell the general public and announce it on the radio & stuff. I wholeheartedly agree with whoever it was that mentioned the STUPID hurtful things that people say when you lose a baby. I think that we should string them all up someplace. Seriously. As an example, I was informed that ‘you need to carefully watch what you think when you’re pg ’cause if you think the wrong thing & don’t wanna be pg for some split second, God will hear you and that could be why this happened.’ See what I mean? It’s kind of a protection thing to keep quiet for a while. Simply ’cause there are so many stupid people on this green earth. The other thing if I haven’t mentioned it yet, is people kinda don’t think before they speak. As in, a week after Raina, someone consoled me with, “Well, if you’ve lost all the odd numbered babies, you should be fine next time ’cause it will be an even number!!” I wasn’t impressed. Anyway, I’m glad you’re feeling good! I pray for you every day!! 🙂
So so true! So happy to hear that you are not puking yet…hopefully it stays that way. I had two that I was only sick for a little while…the rest were another story! Praying all goes well.
I agree. A family in our church lost their little precious angel one week before her due date. Praying for you and your sister to have healthy little blessings!
Thanks for your sweet encouragement! I wanted to add that we didn’t keep the losses a secret but we just didn’t always share in the moment. It does show a weakness in us. We do live in a bit of a bubble and we do have a terrible lack of community in our culture and even in our lives! Something that we need to work on. And for those of you who do share, I think that that is truly commendable. Living a life open to the world is better than grieving alone. May the Lord bless you all! KPea
I agree with you. I think it is mainly to avoid other people’s comments. Some people will simply say rude or stupid comments, especially when you already have children. With my 4th pregnancy, I only told one person besides my husband. I lost the baby at 10 weeks. While it was nice to not have to explain to others what happened, it was also hard because no one knew the pain I was in. I felt very alone.When I got pregnant again, we decided not to tell people but ended up announcing anyway. I was very paranoid about miscarrying but decided I was going to enjoy the pregnancy for as long as it lasted. Thankfuly I went full term.
On another subject, my sis-in-law had hypermesis, lost 20lbs, hospitalized twice. She went to a chiropractor trained in muscle testing. He said she didn’t have any good bacteria in her gut. She started taking probiotics and only threw up once after that. It ended up being a miracle cure for her. Just something to consider.
I am SO with you on this. I told everyone as soon as I found out. Give me a break, I would hope that if I lost a child, the more prayers the better, that was my reasoning. Congratulations to your sister too!!
God bless you, Jen! I’ve been praying for you to not be pukey since the moment I heard about your newest little one. : ) I’m praying for Anna, too. How exciting!!!
: )
Julie M.
I feel the same way…. a baby is a baby from the moment of conception. There is no shame in “losing” a baby, none at all. I think it is more the shame on the people who tell us to just try again, or have another one, or don’t worry, there was probably something wrong with “it”. I’ve had two that went off to heaven before their little lives inside me had barely begun (9 weeks and 14 weeks) and both times were heartbreaking. It makes them no less real or less human to me that I knew them for such a short period of time.
But anyway…. I am glad to hear you’re not puking all the time! Pregnancy is hard enough with so many little ones to care for without needing to be constantly throwing up admist it all. Although I guess feeling like you want to isn’t much better either! Smiling at your weight gain, but only because I am the very same way 😉 22 weeks in and I have gained 20lbs!! Seriously! There is something so very wrong with that…. big congrats to your sister too.
Ok you ask why you wouldn’t announce a pregnancy early. Well I lost so many that I got tired of saying anything and then have to turn around and say I lost another. Also I never wanted to get my hopes up. So therefore I would wait until my danger zone had passed. :)(
I think that it isn’t a matter of feeling like life isn’t precious before 12 weeks. I have had 7 miscarriage. I have four living children. Two of my miscarriages were second trimester losses…one was almost in my third tri. It isn’t a matter of not feeling joy that stopped me from telling people I was pregnant it’s that the untelling is so incredibly painful and hard to do. It’s that I couldn’t hear one more time that losing my child meant that there must have been something wrong or that it was natures way of taking care of a mistake (my child was NEVER a mistake). It’s that I couldn’t stand hearing one more time that maybe I should just stop trying to have babies (thank goodness I never gave up because pregnancy number 7 became baby number two and pregnancy number 10 became baby number 3. Baby number 4 was pregnancy number 11. It was not for lack of wanting to tell people, it was that I needed to protect my heart from the cruelty of others and the lack of understanding from most. Every baby was a life to me but to others it was nothing more than a passing thought if even that.
Shan